Why Your Relationship Needs Goals

written by Lauren Caldwell

Every relationship needs goals.  You always need to be growing towards something greater than where you are now.  Time is ticking no matter what stage your relationship is in.  If your relationship isn’t evolving with time, unfortunately, it’s dying. Even just having the conversation where you and your partner identify your relationship goals can be a major game changer.  Getting on the same page about where you are headed and what you mutually want to accomplish is crucial to feeling fulfilled  in your relationship.  Planning and completing something together will give you a sense of accomplishment and make you feel more secure in your relationship and where it is heading. Below are some things to consider when considering your relationship goals.

What are you working towards?

To be able to work together towards something, you first need to know what that something is. Get clear on your relationship goals. Get specific AF and remember that dreaming big is okay but the goals need to be attainable.  If not,  you might lose momentum or sight of why you wanted that goal in the first place.  Keep in mind that your relationship is on-going and you will want your goals to come to an end once accomplished.

For example: Learning to communicate better is a great goal, but it is on-going for the entirety of your relationship.  You don’t want to work on communication and once you feel you have achieved it, stop working on it. That is an on-going goal.  I look at “communicating better” as more of a relationship value than a goal because it really has no end. Relationship values are super important but that is another post for another day.

Goals should be things that you can check off the list and move on from once accomplished.  An example of a relationship goal my husband and I are working towards is owning a home.  It is something that is mutually important to us and we are both willing to work hard to make the goal a reality and get it checked off the list!  Once we do, we will add something else to the list so we are constantly moving forward and accomplishing what we set out to do, together.

Maybe your goal is to go skydiving together or run a marathon, whatever it is, write it down, tape it to your mirror and do whatever it takes to be reminded daily of what you are working towards.  Having that mutual goal in mind will spark conversation and motivation in your relationship.


Why Every Relationship Needs Goals

How are you going to get there?

Having the vision of what you want to accomplish is great, but how are you going to do it – is imperative! What is your plan?  Is there a timeline involved?  You and your partner need to design a system that will help you achieve these goals.  Hope is not a strategy. It’s nice to hope and dream you get to take a vacation with your partner every year, but how are you actually going to do it? What is the money saving plan that will allow you to take the vacation stress free? Who is watching the kids? How will you get off work for a week?

Put a plan of action together so that your goals aren’t just “hopes.”  Make your goals a reality by committing to a plan of action.  The plan should involve both of you working towards knocking that goal off the list one by one!

What are your relationship goals? What are your relationship values? Let us know in the comments below.

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Trisha Stone
Trisha Stone October 11, 2018 at 3:38 pm

We’re going to climb Machu Picchu!

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