Maybe you are thinking, “I wish I could tell you our relationship values but, wtf are relationship values?!” Relationship values are mutually agreed upon guiding principles that are important to you and your partner. They are the foundation of your relationship and as you grow and evolve, you always have your core values guiding your relationship. Through life’s ups-and-downs, they will remind you and your partner of what is important in your relationship and what can be improved upon or worked on depending on the season of your relationship. These values show up in the decisions you make and how you live your lives as a couple.
I first started thinking about values when I was learning about corporate branding and how companies define their brand by a set of values they uphold. For example, Nike’s core values are performance, authenticity, innovation, and sustainability. These are the drivers of substantially every business decision the company makes. These value determine what the company embodies and how it operates.
What are your relationships guiding principles? These are not to be confused with Relationship Goals. Goals for the most part are done and over with once they have been obtained. Values are on-going and constant. Below are some values that my husband and I came up with that represent our relationship.
This is important to us because we are each others best friends (I know this is so cliché and makes me want to gag a little, but it’s the truth). We have more fun together than with anyone else so we made friendship one of our values. Our friendship is something we will always fall back on when times are tough or we need a reminder on why we are in this crazy thing called marriage. Like true friends, we always have each others backs and that’s super important to us as a couple.
r-e-s-p-e-c-t find out what it means to me! Sorry, I just can’t help it. Moving on … respect is everything in a relationship. Respecting each others boundaries, respecting each others opinions and feelings, respecting each others way of doing the laundry (wrongly), you get it. It’s major. Most things can be conquered if you have a mutual respect for each other.
We put this on the list because we know that it is something we always need to be aware of and always check in on. The truth is, I am not a great communicator. For my entire life I have been told “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it” over and over again. So I struggle with this one, but at the same time, I am aware of it’s importance. It’s important to communicate boundaries and expectations clearly in a relationship.
Without honesty there is no trust and without trust you have a weak foundation for your relationship. Being honest about your feelings can be hard, especially if you are trying to avoid upsetting your partner but it’s necessary. We chose honesty because it is the base foundation for all the other values we uphold.
Some other values are equality, commitment, understanding, independence, trust and safety. What are your relationships values? What are your relationship goals? Let us know in the comments below.