“Get Off Your Phone,” She Says

written by A Real Couple
Get off your phone

“Are you listening to me? Prove it!” she says. That is when I reach into my box of man tricks and repeat her last sentence. She is satisfied and continues on with her story.

Truth be told, I was not listening to what she had to say. I was watching a video of how cheeseburger pizza is made. By the way it looks delicious and seems pretty easy.

my wife and I have this same discussion over-and-over again:

“Why are you always looking at your phone? Get off your phone and talk to me.” she says.

“Babe, I’m just checking the score of the game” I say. (Knowing I was going to do more than just look at the score – I was going to check the news, look at Facebook, or hilarious memes.)

I ADMIT IT, I am addicted to looking at stupid shit on my phone.  

After 8 hours staring at a computer, I come home, sit on the couch and start opening up my apps on my phone.

-I have to check my sports scores.

-I make sure I’ve read all the most up-to-date news articles.

-Has anyone updated anything good on Facebook?

Next thing I know, it’s been 1.5 hours and I haven’t said a word.

During my single days, there was no issue with me being on my phone all night. Nobody wanted my attention, nobody wanted to tell me about their day. (Aww, the good old days!) In all seriousness though, I was actually really tired of being single when I met my wife. I was over dating apps, the bar scene and ready to meet someone to spend my life with.

Now that I have found the love of my life all she wants to do is talk to me! Instead, I am googling whether yawns are contagious for dogs.

Fyi, I tried it on our dog Olive, and she didn’t yawn. (However, the editors of The Coupled “googled it” and apparently yawns are contagious in dogs. I don’t know maybe my dog just wanted me to get out of her face. If you can get your dog to yawn let me know in the comments below.)

Being in a committed healthy relationship takes work from both partners. And if I’m giving most of my attention to ESPN, The Chive, Facebook, and random google searches there’s not a lot left for my wife. I know when I’m an old man, I will look back on my life and hope that I gave more love to my family than I did my phone.

So this is something I have to work on. 

I could be dramatic and take a hammer to my phone in an ultimate act of self-sacrifice to prove my love but our lives are based around our phones. And that’s not going to change.

We can’t escape technology. So I need to be the one to change. I need to be more present. I need to remind myself to use technology to stay connected with my wife, not as a distraction from her and our life.

Here are a few ways WE USE technology to connect:

  1. We send each other sweet and funny memes.
  2. We play fantasy football together.
  3. We Facetime when we’re apart.
  4. We flirt and set dates with each other on In the Mood.

I am a work in progress. If you have any other advice or tips help a guy out and comment below.

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Featured couple: Todd & Lindsay

Storyteller: Todd

Together since: 2014

Edited by The Coupled

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2 comments

Deby February 1, 2019 at 10:47 am

I get frustrated when my fiancé Mike does that “thing” to me. It’s just too hard to wean him off with his mobile games and stuff. One of our “little” arguments would be that. I’ve always advocated about quality time whenever we are together. I, too would be guilty using phones whenever, wherever. I had to set “QT/Quality Time”, that means Eat, watch movies, flirt and conversation time without MOBILE PHONES. The thing about relationships is having the commitment and compromise (and a whole lot of negotiations)

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Trisha Stone
Trisha Stone February 4, 2019 at 7:42 pm

So true Deby! Love the idea of scheduling QT.

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