In hindsight that particular date night started out unlike any other previously. That night there was an aura of sizzling anxious electricity that was noticeable to both of us.
To give you a little backstory we had been dating for some time and our lovable date nights, where we regularly adventured downtown to the big city, while sufficiently fun, were becoming very routine. However, that night we were going to our first ‘lifestyle club’, …YES! A swinger’s club, title it however you like, but nights like these soon became some of our new choice adventures.
As you may suspect that sizzling buzz was purely out of anticipation and probably even more so nervousness. At that exact moment we knew as much about what we now refer to as ‘the lifestyle’, as we did quantum physics. Scratch that – we actually knew more about quantum physics.
It may be hard to believe but it wasn’t the well rumored and seemingly endless sexual aspects of this lifestyle that drew us to the doors of these establishments but more to do with a curiosity of the unknown, an exploration of a perceived social taboo, and perhaps a chance to better understand our own connection. Whatever it was, we were fearless due to the fact that we were going through it for the first time together.
That night was the beginning of our real connection as we know it.
In a general sense the entire lifestyle makes you talk, talk, talk! Meeting likeminded people who are eager to know your story and what makes you tick, allows you a license to enter a venue for communication about every facet of your life. The chance that they are very attractive and flirting with you and your wife is an added bonus, at least for us lifestyle couples.
Communication is the key to success.
Even though it may require a lot of patience and practice every couple eventually learns that communication is critical to maintaining this relationship successfully. The ability to communicate through everything is really the ultimate key.
After it’s all over, quite often before the night itself has ended, it’s quiet and there is just us usually with something to chuckle and smirk about and that gets us talking. One of the first things that quickly became a routine for us was a new invigoration for communication about the nights happenings and how we felt it unfolded. It was nothing short of incredible.
We believe this lifestyle to be central to our marriage and unbreakable connection.
The lifestyle unlocked for us a level of communication that has always been a source of energy and has brought us a deeper connection to each other. It’s a skill that we’ve honed overtime, and please believe me it has taken a lot of practice. We’ve read books solely on the topics of communication as well as consulting couples therapists allowing us to take away an even stronger bond. With these skills we have defined our boundaries and our lifestyle rules but more importantly it has come into many other aspects of our daily coupled life.
At the end of the day we always reconnect and gain some of that energy no matter how our workday or date night has unfolded. We’ve brought that knowledge, that we feel was only instilled because of the lifestyle, into the background of every argument and all around bad day that we all know we all have. It simply makes us whole again and allows us to enjoy and experience more of our relationship mindfully and in tune with the one another.
Featured Couple: Mayt and Sara
Edited By: The Coupled