Invest In Your Relationship Like It’s The Stock Market: 60 Sec. Favors With High Returns

written by Jessica O'Reilly

Small, daily investments in your relationship will inevitably go farther than grand gestures that you reserve for special occasions. I often compare it to dollar-cost-averaging — you don’t invest in the stock market once per year, but invest on an ongoing basis for higher returns in the long-term.

I often suggest that clients invest 60 seconds a day in any way that makes their partner feel important or eases their daily stresses.

Some of the most popular 60-second favors across the globe include:

Warming up their towel in the dryer while their in the shower. For those living in cooler climates, this quick favor is both practically, intimately and emotionally fulfilling — when you hand them the towel, you can take a moment to wrap yourself around them in a warm hug and they’ll receive the message that you value them enough to go out of your way to make them feel loved and important.
Bringing home a small thoughtful gift after a business trip. Whether it’s a soap infused with their favorite essential oil or coffee beans from a local espresso shop, a thoughtful gift lets them know that you were thinking about them even while you were apart. Research suggests that when you think of someone you love, it can reduce stress, elevate your mood and even assuage pain, so the fact that they’re thinking of you may be an indication that they miss you and truly take comfort in your love.
“Stealing” one of their chores. Stress and exhaustion are not only leading causes of a wide range of medical issues, but they’re among the greatest detractors from intimate and sexual connection. If you make your honey’s life a little easier by doing practical favors or chores to relieve their stress, you’ll likely see the payoff in and out of the bedroom in no time. If they normally, put out the garbage, try to get it out of the way before they get home from work. If they normally drive the kids to ballet, load up the car and pour them a glass of wine or tea before they have a chance to protest. Division of unpaid labor is a contentious issue in modern relationships, so try to alleviate their stress once in awhile by helping them to cross one item off the list — and be sure you’re pulling your weight on an ongoing basis.
Provide a short massage. Oftentimes, we avoid offering and giving massages, as we assume that they need to be long and drawn out. Break this habit and reach for your partner’s hand in bed, at the dinner table, in the car or on the couch — stroke their hand slowly and purposefully for 1-2 minutes without asking for anything in return. Physical affection is good for your health and the relationship. Some of the benefits include:
  • a reduction in stress hormones
  • lowered blood pressue
  • increase in oxytocin levels (associated with bonding and relaxation)
  • pain reduction
  • improved pulmonary functioning (try breathing in sync with your partner while you spoon)
  • healthy growth (research with babies suggests that physical touch increases the chances of height and weight increases)
  • lowered blood sugar
  • heightened immunity

Also…massages feel great and the hands are a popular, but underrated erogenous zone.

Kiss often — especially when sex is off the tableSmooching plays a prominent role in seduction, romantic attachment and sexual arousal. Unfortunately in long term relationships, we often stop kissing or push passionate kissing aside in favor of other forms of foreplay — one of the biggest complaints I hear across the globe involves a lack of kissing.  And while their is no universal hierarchy of sex acts, research suggests that kissing is not only good for your health, but also promotes happier relationships. In one study, conducted by behavioral scientist Kerry Floyd, couples who were instructed to kiss more often reported fewer fights, greater relationship satisfaction, less stress and lower cholesterol in comparison to couples who received no instruction with regard to kissing. In addition to lowering cortisol levels (which reduces stress), kissing has also been linked with improvements to the parasympathetic nervous system, which is essential to sexual response

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